#and the death of the tumblr tag is SO SAD because where else am i meant to talk to you lot

[thefrogdalorian]

Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!

It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!

Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!

I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.

Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!

[americanphancakes]

I wanna talk about my mind for a little bit

I was gonna save this until after I posted the last Wingless Angel chapter but I can’t post it yet. Pretty sure my mind wants me to get this out of my system first.

So hi everyone, how are you? How have you been? Honestly if you’re still following at all I’m delighted.

I don’t want this to come across as some excuse for all the unfinished fanfic I left behind 3+ years ago, which is why I wanted to publish WA first, so I hope you don’t take it that way. But I ended up stumbling upon an aspect of my mental health that I’m still trying to address and since I never really saw anyone post or talk about my particular issue before very recently, I wanted to share it in case it resonates with anyone.

(Clearly stuff has changed, this is where I'd normally put a "read more" but.... I guess that's not a thing anymore?? Hopefully this isn't a huge annoying wall of text on everyone's dash, oof.)

I’ve posted before about my ADHD. I’ve been getting treatment for it for 10 years now, and for all that time, medication & other coping mechanisms have been helpful to a point, but only to a point. There was still something left that was keeping me from functioning, and I couldn’t tell what it was. All I knew was that I had no will of my own, and I’d spent the last 10 years trying to create situations where the people in charge were asking (or implying that i should do) things I considered good to do. “People in charge” meant anyone besides myself. If someone was not me, they automatically had authority, simply by virtue of being someone external to me.

I did a lot of research trying to find something that matched up with my experiences & feelings, even partially, and I looked into things like PDA autism and even just the people-pleasing habits common with other ADHD folks.

At some point, with therapy, I did learn how to say “no” to other people’s demands of me. I learned to set boundaries. But I was still profoundly uncomfortable with dictating what I was going to do, especially if anyone else was ever going to be aware of it.

When I was a little kid, i was told “no” constantly, and that’s not hyperbole. I’ve cited the story many times of falling in love with the violin when I was 9 but immediately being told “No, you’re going to play the flute.” So I played the flute, but without any passion for it I couldn’t figure it out and I quit, and my mom never stopped making me feel guilty about it. But that wasn’t the only example of that kind of thing. I wanted to play soccer; mom said play basketball, so I played basketball. I wanted to play piano; mom bought me a guitar and my sister got the electronic keyboard. (We eventually switched, but I never felt like I could fully commit to playing the thing). I wanted to learn Spanish or Japanese in high school; mom told me to learn French, so I took four fucking years of French.

My feelings and wishes were effectively not a factor in what I was allowed to do, what goals I was allowed to pursue, unless I was staying in my room and out of everyone’s way (and even then I had to make sure I jumped up to do what was asked of me if I got called from another room). Eventually I learned, as a survival mechanism, to just obey. It wasn’t worth fighting anymore because I was systematically robbed of my individuality at every turn. Something happened when I was 13 that I will never talk about publicly and she played "good parent who has her kid's back" for about 5 minutes before siding with the bad guy. I brought it up years later and she was mad I'd never gotten over it. And all that is on top of being raised to be a "good little capitalist drone" who needs to be perfect and efficient at all times. I was never supported. I was never given grace. So I never gave grace to myself, because if your own parents don't give you grace & time to learn and be flawed, then clearly you don't deserve any, right?

I finally cut my mother out of my life not long after the pandemic began, a few months after having gone no-contact from my father (mostly due to his casual racism & transphobia, which cost me at least one very close friendship when I was a kid, and was unkind to my child in a way I could not abide). My immediate family - spouse and kid - are the only family I have left now. And it sounds tragic on paper, because it is, but until I finally got away from my mother's voice in real life I couldn't filter through the recordings of her voice in my mind so I could finally throw them away. And that knot is still being untied. Honestly this is 10 years into a very long mental health journey, when you think about it, but I wish I'd cut my mom out of my life a very very long time ago. I wasn't angry about lost time when I got my ADHD diagnosis. I was angry about it when I realized that yes, this had been abuse, and I hadn't been courageous enough to get away from it sooner.

Because that dehumanization resulted in me having no will power of my own, and that extended as far as simply not wanting anything anymore. I like things, sure, but anything I WANTED for myself was out of the question, especially if it involved other people in any way, but honestly even solo pursuits became impossible for me to will myself to do. For right now, when I have something I want to do, I'm telling my friends & husband to order me to do it. Because I won't do it otherwise. And it's a potentially dangerous workaround, but it's all I have for now. I and my therapist are hoping that once my brain registers that what other people are telling me to do is aligned with what I want to do, maybe it won't depend on other people's commands anymore and I'll just take control of my own life for once. But that may not work. I'll have to wait and see.

So what does this have to do with my abandoned fics? Well, it had started to become more difficult to write because the adhd "shinyness" was wearing off anyway, but I'd been doing a good job of pushing past it because people liked what I was writing. I could see my skill getting better, and engagement was going up, and that was really motivating. But then... I stopped writing fic all of a sudden because someone made a post about finding it shitty when writers wrote about COVID in their fics, and.... that was sort of a last straw that broke me, because I do exactly that in the last WA chapter. So I just turned tail and ran away. I tried to push through and write & publish the chapter anyway, because it was the LAST chapter and I knew people were waiting on it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Even having OSBB obligations didn't get me writing again, and given that obligation, the shame I felt about not having finished those stories weighed on me so badly that I couldn't even interact with you guys on Instagram, despite you having been so kind to me in the past. Let's face it, that goes WAY beyond adhd rejection sensitivity, that's a trauma response. I saw one bit of honestly well-reasoned critique of work that wasn't even mine, and I just ran. Immediately I felt like I was no longer allowed to take up space here. I felt unwelcome here in this corner of the internet world, just as I have always felt like I wasn't allowed to take up space in the physical world for almost my ENTIRE life. And the shame I already feel about myself normally was compounded by what I felt was a cowardly thing to do, which prevented me from returning. Now that I've accepted that, yes, I am an abuse victim whose life has been MASSIVELY and MAJORLY affected by that childhood trauma, I'm finally able to address it properly. Over the last few weeks I've been changing the direction of my therapy and my self-talk (reparenting yourself is HARD) and I'm feeling some improvement, but progress isn't linear so my burst of motivation the other night fizzled out, and I'm genuinely sorry for that.

So... yeah, I'm trying to come back and get those fics finished. I'm grateful for any of you willing to be patient with me. Consciously I KNOW I deserve any support willingly given to me by any of you, but I FEEL like I don't. So yeah. Thanks. <3

[screamingfromuz]

I’m asking this here because I don’t really know where else to— do you have any good recommendations for Palestinian bloggers here who are for peace, and also not antisemitic? I’ve seen that a lot of the big ones have some stuff that goes from iffy to horrible and I just cannot engage with it in a way that is not emotional self-harm. This site hates Israeli-Palestinian solidarity, but I know there are so many of us that just want to live together in peace, and I think we all really need that energy right now

I am sure there is. From the supportive anons my mutual and I have been getting to some common sense (they exist in real life, surely they are in tumblr as well), it is only reasonable.

but here is a very sad truth, I cannot name a single one. The truth is anon, that I am a bit of a coward. I am honestly terrified from looking through the tags on the wider tumblr due to the amount of nasty shit thee is. I just home to stumble upon them on my dash. I have even refrained from checking pro Palestinian tags and reblogging posts about the suffering of Palestinians that are not from mutuals to avoid interacting with people who call for making me a refugee or calling for my death.

I am sure I missed people BTW, that I was so afraid from another disappointment that I never bothered checking more.

So I am sad to say, that despite knowing several Muslims, I do not have any recommendation for Palestinian blogs. For solidarity, I go to outside of the internet.

If any Palestinian blog stumble upon this, and you are a supporter of a peace solution that doesn't erase any of us, and would like some Israeli Mutuals, feel free to make contact.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Lack of Accessibility

Is it petty to just be, like, really really sad right now?

I came to Tumblr because of the Dragon Age fandom. I hadn't been in a fandom in so long, not after the first one, which ... look, getting into a fandom while having a nervous breakdown is a bad thing, okay? Especially when that fandom has named you a BNF for some reason and the responses end up going from "nagging daily to finish a fic" to "long essays shitting on everything you ever wrote" and you're a people-pleaser by nature. Just ... that on top of everything else is ... not recommended. You have no idea how phobic I was of the very idea of fandom. I literally flinch when the media in question comes up (though I have some very good friends because of that fandom and I would not be without them; just ... I will avoid that particular piece of media the same way I do anything overly zealously Christian and conversations about politics with my mother, and for the same reason - my sanity).

Anyway, point is that the Dragon Age fandom gave me back my love of and, more importantly, trust in fandoms. Sure, there's some toxic bullshit, but it isn't like that. Y'all have been so wonderful, and between how awesome the fandom is and how DA: O itself really helped me cope during a particularly dark time, for all I flag up its flaws, I'm always going to have a soft spot in my heart for this franchise.

So of course it makes me happy that everyone's finding something to love about Veilguard and spreading it all over Tumblr. Picking their blorbos and squeeing about Assan and all of that, and it's everywhere. And on one level, I'd love to join in. I'd like to start thinking about what my Rook would be like - which of my internal presets would I send after Solas first? What faction would a Molly be a part of? A Jessie? A Jallira?

...Just ... why, when I probably won't even be able to play it?

One of the reviews had the reviewer literally screw up a livestream by getting knocked over a cliff because her reflexes weren't up to it, and highlighted just how much you need those reflexes and that dodge to actually get through the game. And she couldn't manage. And she's not, as far as I'm aware, fucking disabled. I, on the other hand, am. And it doesn't sound like easy mode and accessibility options are going to get me out of "you have to constantly dodge-roll or experience Death By Cliff".

For most things, I can budget my spoons appropriately. If I want to go to a convention - a big one like MCM or a small one like Dragonmeet - I can plan my life accordingly. But that's a one-off. So is "I'm going to bake things", or "I'm going to make soup", or "I'm going to Borough Market". I can have rest breaks after these things. I can plan them for good days. Most of the time, I can cope with this. I hate it, but I can cope.

But ... I mean, how do you do that kind of thing for a video game that runs so many hours? Too many breaks and you lose the momentum - far too many abandoned playthroughs of BG3 have taught me that. Waiting for good days could have me waiting a week or more before I'm up to even touching it again. If it's not a bad pain day, it could still be a day where I'm having spasms, and believe me, I don't touch anything that requires precision when I'm having spasms ... but sometimes I don't know until I'm trying to do a thing, so I could end up dodge-rolling myself off a cliff if I go to the spasm place.

Thankfully, I'm not the sort of person who turns around and resents the people who are looking so forward to it when I can only sit here and dither over what I'm going to do about this whole mess. I'm glad people are enjoying the anticipation. Just seeing it makes me sad, and I don't want to block the tags because a) I still have some tiny shred of hope and b) that's too many tags.

I resent the fuck out of EA and Bioware, though. I get that they couldn't necessarily go back to DA:O's real-time-with-pause tactical structuring, but moving us to something that's ... probably closer to Kingdoms of Amalur than anything Souls-like but there's still an element of that latter ... anyway, it's a giant fuck-you to the disabled. I've had one of those before. I got chosen for the closed beta of Secret World: Legends when Funcom was making its changes to The Secret World. I was not alone in flagging up that everything from the reticle targeting to the particle effects to the random-roulette light-up stuff all over the UI was a massive trigger for vertigo and migraines. And we all got the same response: "This is what we're doing and we're not changing it; sucks to be you". And it really wasn't that much more polite than my paraphrase, either. (Which is another problem with Veilguard for me, because even that first gameplay trailer full of prologue gave me a migraine that lasted for like two days; part of it was the particle effects, part of it was the glowy redesigns of all the demons, but mostly it was the dodge-rolling making the camera bounce around like a fucking squash ball.)

I resent EA and Bioware for jumping so entirely on the ARPG train that even the best their accessibility options can do don't help. I also resent them for not giving us a fucking demo. I know that AAA games don't do that anymore, for some reason, but how the fuck am I supposed to know whether or not I can play it if I don't have a demo? Steam gives a two-hour return window, and adding the time taken in character creation plus the prologue, that doesn't give that much time to really get a feel for whether or not it's playable, especially not when it depends on the kind of day I'm having.

There are a lot of reasons I hate being disabled. I think most of them boil down to "the people who make accessibility a fucking nightmare". That thing about Borough Market, for example, where I'd have to take a fairly roundabout route to even get there because the most direct route is via a train station that has raised platforms and no elevators, and those stairs were a nightmare even before the cane. And of course, video games. Far too many video games. Including, it seems, the franchise that really got me back into video games in the first place, and one of the first things that really gave me joy after fleeing the abusive ex.

Fuck my life entirely.

[limetameta]

when i saw that why women kill was a story made by the same person who made desperate housewives i was like, huh, let me see where this goes. and i was delighted at moments, horrified at some, and otherwise entertained.

did not feel like desperate housewives to me. felt like something trying to be more. than that show. which fair enough look at all of these years and decades which have passed.

the closest timeline that felt like desperate housewives and the one i was most invested in was beth ann's timeline in the 60s. the 80s timeline felt like some cheap gabrielle solis marries a gay guy 80s fic i was reading and they were very cute together, but i did not find that end any less offensive than if they had outright had aids kill him. wow, 80s, wow, gay guys, wow it's better to have your wife mercy kill you than to throw you out. it was not a story that fit with the narrative of the 2019 and 60s timelines. karl was a good character, but ultimately i can't help but think that his end felt forced and that STILL in media gay men's deaths and existence is used as a pitying tool. rubbed me the wrong way, and you can camouflage it with so many snappy comebacks and edie britt like charm all you want, i didn't have a fun time with this one.

going into s2 of why women kill was interesting for me because the first thing i noticed when i went into the why women kill tag on tumblr was a lot of people's disappointment with it. that it didn't keep with the 3 timeline frame, that it didn't feel true to the show. which, if you were expecting the continuation of those 3 timelines, if you wanted the same character mold with different names and colours - yes, then that's way too different.

but if you want to watch why women kill - then this falls right in with its purview. we follow alma and we focus on her now because we actually get growth and the descent, and all of the consequences of her actions. you don't have your focus split from her by following two more timelines - or whatever it was they tried to do with the 2019 timeline. good idea, but man it was really boring. just like eva needed more proactivity in eli's script, so, too, did the 2019 characters. they're more reactionary. you can even see it in that sequence where all three timelines meld - taylor is on the reactionary side, she's not the one surging forward and doing things, she's defending and reacting to the situation at hand.

but, back to me praising why women kill s2. and i say this with full honesty: i am heavily being influenced by my love of desperate housewives when i say that this s2 felt more true to DH than s1. I love Alma. Truly feels like one of the characters in Wisteria Lane come to life. Whether this is a good thing for the show itself or not, at least she's entertaining to follow along. At least there's a clear arc. Just like with Beth Ann. That's why I call these the two strongest characters of the series so far.

anyway, these are my thoughts. i don't expect anyone else to agree nor disagree.

season 2? banging. i love it. all of these characters are so awful they're the best.

hoping s3 will be completely different from s1 and s2 and that they'll keep it going, keeping us all on our toes. i would hate for them to come back to the 3 timeline plot device just because it worked in s1, unless they have a story they want to tell in such a device - but just because people are complaining about s2 would be sad.

[ibijau]

five things you never get tired of writing

was tagged by @jaggededges123

tagging @veraverorum @silliam-hill @fortune-maiden and whoever else feels like it bc tumblr won’t let me tag half the people I want to mention¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1. Mutually ‘unrequited’ feelings

I just think it’s fun?? I love having characters say something is revealing and be misunderstood? I love characters trying to hide?? I love love LOVE characters fearing to ruin their friendship and valuing that more than the risk of saying something that would change things?? It’s also so fun when one of the characters overcorrects to hide their love and ends up cold and distant, thus feeding the other’s impression of unrequited feelings... it’s just delicious.

2. Crack taken seriously

Well, anyway it’s apparently something I do frequently, though I don’t usually realise it until someone says that in the comments. But I do enjoy coming up with a weird setting/trope and then trying to be realistic about it. It’s a fun excuse for researching stuff, which I always like. And anyway, it just naturally happens to me. I’m an overthinker, so I will end up distracted by details and by trying to figure out how stuff works (like that recent hanahaki au where I kinda had to cut down a bunch of stuff because I kept going on tangents trying to explain details of the sickness that weren’t really relevant to the story in the end)

3.Secrets (and the catharsis of being able to share them)

Might be a bit general there lol. I think every character should have something they don’t want others to know, it really drives the story! It makes for fun dialogues, especially if the character is desperate for his secret to be shared, and equally terrified of revealing it. It’s also super fun to try and decide who would notice something is up and who wouldn’t, who would try to force the secret out and who would respect that silence... and then of course the catharsis of no longer having to keep that secret? The mortifying ordeal of being known by someone, and being accepted and loved anyway? (bc I’m weak and I rarely write things going wrong of course lol)

4. Trust

Both its presence and its absence. Either case leads to fun stories. I like characters who trust no one. I like characters who only trust one person, but don’t make a big show of it so that the other person might not even realise that they have been trusted that way. Characters who trust easily are also fun! And then it’s always fun to decide how that would inform their choices, their reactions, what might change their capacity for trust...

5. Happy endings

Full respect to sad endings! They can be excellent! But if I write a story, it’s because I love the characters, and so I need the story to feel like it ends well for someone I care about. With this said, my definition of happy ending might not be yours. I’ve written stories I counted as happy endings because people got to die alongside the person they liked best, or because they felt their death was bringing significant good. I am particularly weak to lovers separating because being together would compromise the change they want to bring to the world, and I count that as a happy ending because it was their choice to do so, and the love remains even apart. I guess more than just happy, I need endings to be hopeful... Though I am definitely a sucker for ‘typical’ happy endings as well! I just want the characters to either be happy, or feel like their life meant something

[silverhallow]

I posted 4,145 times in 2022

That's 438 more posts than 2021!

3,025 posts created (73%)

1,120 posts reblogged (27%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hallownightsblog

@bridgertonbabe

@sophiebernadotte

@sophiamariabeckett

@viscountess-sharma

I tagged 3,671 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#bridgerton - 2,285 posts

#ask ash - 1,582 posts

#benedict bridgerton - 1,431 posts

#benophie - 1,238 posts

#sophie beckett - 1,214 posts

#ash’s asks and answers - 736 posts

#ash’s asks - 706 posts

#benedict x sophie - 516 posts

#a million dreams - 318 posts

#anthony bridgerton - 314 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#smirking to himself before receiving a death glare from anthony for his lax attitude towards the whole thing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Excuse me but 🥵🤤😍🥵🤤😍🥵🤤😍

176 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

Sweet mother of 😍😍😍🥵🥵🥵🥵

Well fuck me 🥵🥵🥵

Curtsey of Lee Malone again… feeding us

186 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

#3

I think Benophie will be a refreshing change if they're next season. After watching "Ew, feelings? I don't want feelings!" with Daphmon and Kathony for two seasons, Benophie realizing that they’re in love and just immediately accepting it will be a nice change of pace.

Benedict's season better SCREAM Romance!

it's magical, it's cheesy and it's love at first sight followed by stubborn, chaotic horny idiots and i am fucking HERE for it.

I want the longing glances on fucking steriods. I want Benedict trying to grab Sophie's skirts whenever she walks past. I want their little grins of happiness at seeing each other... and then their shy blushes when they realise someone is looking at them.

i want to feel the longing through the screen, I want to feel them struggling to hide their affection and attraction for one another.

I want to see Benedict understand the words that Henry Granville once told him: You have no idea what it is like to be in a room with someone you cannot live without… and yet still feel as though you are oceans apart.

I want to see them

Stealing glances, disguising touches.

I want to see them not so much as smile at each other… without first ensuring no one else is watching.

I want to see Benedict finally understanding heartbreak, to know what it is to admire a woman and find his muse again... I want to see him painting and drawing Sophie and hiding it.

i want to see Sophie being clumsy and dropping things when she sees Benedict, i want to see her pricking her fingers.

I want to see their family totally seeing it all...

Especially Sophie's because she's not clumsy, she's tidy, she's composed but the moment Benedict comes into the room she turns into a mess...

and I want to see the family looking at each other "you see this right? it's not just me?"

I want Kate to go to Daphne "where we that obvious?"

and Daphne laughing "no one is that obvious yet that oblivious"

I WANT TO FEEL THE LOVE, THE LONGING AND ALL THE DAMN FEELS.

GIMME GIMME GIMME.

202 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#2

Sophie beckett…your husband is waiting for you…

216 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Violet: I’d slap you so silly right now If you were Colin or Anthony

Benedict *smug*: I know

315 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Is it a little sad that I reblogged myself the most??? The rest do not surprise me 😂

[pandoramusicbox09]

I posted 1,518 times in 2022

51 posts created (3%)

1,467 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@izupie

@everythingfox

@a-lonely-tatertot

@bunjywunjy

@thelastpilot

I tagged 902 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#critical role spoilers - 202 posts

#cr spoilers - 198 posts

#cr3 spoilers - 182 posts

#critical role - 180 posts

#cr - 163 posts

#orym of the air ashari - 134 posts

#dorian storm - 94 posts

#acofaf - 93 posts

#a court of fey and flowers - 91 posts

#mustlovedogs - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 101 characters

#i was checking tumblr before heading out and i saw my uk friend making a post about the queen’s death

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Does anyone else still get emotional about Yasha’s sad and quiet “I have so many flowers to bring to her” or are the rest of you normal?

28 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#4

“If you are orphaned, then so am I. And you will never know a lonely day again, as long as I draw breath.” - (Former Major Knickolas Pnackolas Hob)

40 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#3

So that last episode has put me in deep in Dorian feelings

Everyone has said it much better than I can. But I was absolutely gutted after that whole last scene. Dorian throwing the outfit he was going to wear to the ball into the closet in exchange for a severe, militaristic outfit in order to play of the role of Bronte Secondsun Wyvernwind of the Silken Squall; my heart just broke into a million pieces for him.

There’s one bit that honestly though stuck out to me that every time I think about it, I want to cry.

Dorian pulls out that chiffon outfit and states that “he got so long ago” and just looks at it before crumpling it along with the mask. That chiffon outfit was the one he got and wore during the Gem of Byroden pageant all those months ago. He stated at that time that while they were in the tent with the different outfits, he had it in his hands and was just looking at it before he decided he wanted to be a part of the pageant.

Then the scene transitions to Dorian tentatively asking Opal if the pageant was only for the ladies, to which Opal replies, loudly and excitedly, “No, no anyone can join!” And then he asks her if she minds them competing against her, which she very emphatically says “No! Of course not! In fact...” and then Opal gives Dorian and Fearne the option to act as a live band for her during her act during the talent portion of the pageant. But, honestly, Opal really wanted her friends to participate in the pageant with her and have fun. She was so excited when Fearne, Dorian and Dariax said they would join. 

Dorian then proceeds to blow everyone away during the formal dress portion of the pageant with beautiful sheer chiffon outfit and floating himself above the crowd. Whimsical, beautiful, “giving them [the crowd] all the charm and machismo that he has to offer.” Afterward, he goes backstage to his friends, enthusiastically clapping for him and telling him how amazing and “hot” he is. Dorian is “flushed” and thanks Opal for the chance to be able to do that because he’s “always wanted to do that or something like that.” He does get embarrassed later on but at that moment, he was so happy and excited.

Here’s the thing: it’s probably safe to say that even though there are pageants where he comes from, he clearly has never been in one. He was so nervous about joining the pageant at first. So much so that he pretty much begged Dariax to join with him for moral support. But he really wanted to participate. He clearly wanted to join and show off who he is and be accepted for what he presents.

And then, during the pageant and afterwards, he’s not only accepted but celebrated for his show. That sheer, shimmering, chiffon beige outfit with the deep V cut that goes down all the way to bottom of his waist. The whole thing showing off his “svelte, muscular form”. His ancestral winged boots that carried him over the crowd, wowing them with his unexpected artistry and charm. More than anything, at the end of that pageant, he may not have won but he was happy, he had fun, he felt alive and excited; so much so that he initiated a drinking contest with Fearne and Dariax as a sort of after-party.

As nervous as he was, the Gem of Byroden pageant was probably the first time Dorian was able to express who he really was and be completely accepted for it. Whimsical, free, beautiful, artistic. He was so happy.

But then, we fast-forward to the Marquet and the ball they are to attend.

Dorian takes that chiffon outfit that he so clearly loves so much that he literally carried it with him from Byroden to Jrusar. The one that he got and wore “so long ago it seems”. He’s just looking at it but not in the same way he was looking at it in the tent in Byroden. And then he tosses it to the bottom of the wardrobe (not even hanging it, just crumples it up and tosses it, ow my heart), and takes an outfit that is “more appropriate” to get the job done. More befitting of Prince Bronte Secondsun Wyvernwind of the Silken Squall. Severe, almost militaristic, nothing whimsy about it. 

This is what Bronte is (what Dorian was raised with the expectation of being). Serious, restrained, muted, authoritarian. And he is miserable.  

You see it in the way Robbie (which oh my god, what a performance!) plays out the scene. Dorian dismisses his friends’ concern for him, refuses to look at any of them for a while. He’s trying to hold himself together through the disappointment and misery and reminds himself that “he’s the best person for the job”. 

Dorian throws away the physical reminder of a time he was so happy just being himself in order to don the identity of someone he hated and was forced to endure being until he could get away.

Oh my god though, the way EVERYONE tunes in as well.

Laudna immediately questioning the rest of the group if this is a good idea, not because she thinks the plan won’t work but because “we don’t want to cause undue trauma”. 

Imogen asking Dorian in his mind if he’s alright with this plan (to which Dorian very tersely replies that “it’s fine”, not even looking at her  because of course, he’s fine, he’s the best person for the job. He’s used to giving up what he truly wants for the benefit of other people, this isn’t new to him 😥). 

Fearne asking Orym for his thoughts and Orym, being very careful and slow with his words. “He’s the best person for the job.” “Dorian has talked us out of 20 different situations” “He’s the best fit” but Orym’s body is stiff. He’s leaning forward, covering his mouth, almost like he’s trying to filter out his words to what he thinks is appropriate, not necessarily what he feels. Orym knew how excited Dorian was for the ball and there’s an unsaid “I hate that this is happening to Dorian” in Orym’s body language while talking to Fearne. 

This is followed immediately by Orym saying he was going to stay with Dorian while they were deciding who should be in which group. As well as, Fearne agreeing immediately to being with Dorian when asked (because she loves her boys and the thought of being away from them makes her very sad). 

Also, those little smiles one Liam, Ashley and Laura’s faces when he described the outfit he was planning on wearing. My heart hurts!

Ashton also cluing in and while they initially volunteered to be with Dorian as a bodyguard, they revise and tell Dorian “you should have final say to who you want at your side”. Honestly, I feel like part of it is that Ashton felt guilty because they were the one who initially, very enthusiastically, volunteered Dorian to play the part of the noble, not realizing what that would do to Dorian emotionally. I think Ashton clued in but it was too late and so they decided the next best thing was to give Dorian as much autonomy in his choice to who would accompany him.

The only ones I couldn’t get a good read on was Chetney and FCG. I think with FCG, they could probably sense that Dorian isn’t alright but might not have a good bead into why. There was that whole discussion beforehand with “designation” and what that means. Also during “What the fuck is up with that?” several episodes back, FCG stated that “it seems like you would be proud to come from a fabled, noble tradition.” I have my own thoughts but I think I need to see more going further.

God, this is a monster of post. I just wanted to contrast the moment Dorian got his chiffon outfit in Byroden to the moment when he tossed it into Eshteross’s wardrobe and how thinking about all those moments in-between and all the implications fucking broke my hearts into a million pieces.

Fuck me, I’m just going to go cry in a corner now. 

48 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#2

Oh god, I just had a cursed thought

It’s been implied a few times already in this latest episode that Dorian might be mistaken for his brother and be captured/killed for the bounty. We also know that Dorian gave the second Sending Stone to Cyrus and didn’t tell the rest of the party.

What if, for some godforsaken reason, Dorian gets taken for the bounty and he’s unable to get back to the group. Orym, immediately uses the Sending Stone to try to locate him and ends up contacting Cyrus instead. At that point, Orym and the rest of the party realize that Dorian’s gone and they have no way of being able to contact him/ find out where he is or where he is being taken or if he’s even still alive.

And now, I’m imagining how Orym will react. I’m subscribed to the idea that Orym is a widower who lost his husband in that attack 6 years ago. There’s some pretty strong evidence to show that Orym is starting to develop feelings for Dorian (the flower in the hair, clutching the Sending Stone so tightly he bruises his hand, Liam himself saying that Orym “really like Dorian a lot” etc.). Can you fucking imagine what would go through Orym’s head at that point? He already had to go through a heartbreaking loss once before. He already had to go through the feeling of being unable to protect someone he loved before. And now, after all this time when he finds himself falling for someone again (which must carry its own set of complicated feelings), he is unable to protect Dorian. Orym could possibly lose him and he is helpless to stop it.

Oh fuck, I just hurt myself thinking about this.

80 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The last episode has me in my Orym feelings again

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

My heart was just breaking while watching Orym while they were meeting Oshad. Liam is a master at using his body and facial expressions to convey everything we need to know how a character is feeling. There was actually a moment when I was a little jarred watching Liam because I was suddenly thinking how much Orym resembled Caleb in that moment.

Then I had a thought that just shatter my heart into a million pieces.

Here’s the thing, I love how Liam constantly acts out different things/ says certain things that reminds everyone that he’s a 3′3″ Halfling. But I had a realization that without those reminders, it’s very easy to forget that Orym is “so wee”, as he puts it. It’s not even really about Liam not being a small dude. When Orym sits, he’s leaning back into the chair with an arm swung over the back; he takes up as much space as possible without it really encroaching into another person’s space. Dorian and Fearne have always taken leadership cues from Orym and the others very readily turn to him too when he does take initiative in a situation (i.e. the conversation with Tefta). When they’re in battle, Orym is all over the place, maximizing his movement and his actions play the field. Just the fact that his battle maneuver, Bait and Switch, has him switching positions with an ally and shielding them gives this image of stalwart protector; a wall between a threat and a friend. Orym, as quiet and soft-spoken as he is, feels like he takes up more space than he physically does.

Which brings me to one specific scene during the meeting with Oshad Breshio.

When the party is waiting in the kitchen for Ginang Ela Lumas to come back; Orym was folded in on himself. He was clutching his arm with the tattoo on it; specifically his upper arm where the two moons of Exandria are; Ruidus being cradled in Catha (which adds a whole new level of hurt if we subscribe to the idea that the two moons represent Orym and his late husband, but I digress). Orym was holding himself and looking down. It was really the first time I ever saw Orym actually look that small. Like he was trying to protect himself from something, like he was trying to hide.

Orym doesn’t say a thing in that waiting period. When he does speak to Oshad, it’s careful, slow, his face is tight and his eyes look so sad and desperate. Orym looks nothing like the focused, stoic fighter on a mission. He looks like he’s barely holding himself together and is trying to find a line to pull keep himself from falling.

When they’re saying their goodbyes and Orym clasps Oshad’s arm, he says “Let’s do the same to them”. In the context of what they had just spoken about, Orym is obviously referring to the assassins. But even, without the context and Oshad’s response, it could be heard in Orym’s tone of voice; it’s cold, it’s angry. Orym before this has never shown a penchant for vengeance, even after Bertrand’s death. If anything, after Bertrand died, it seemed more like Orym’s main priority was removing possible threat to his friends’ safety. But after this talk with Oshad, it’s clear. Orym wants those assassins to pay for what they did.

And then the reactions from everyone else!

It was clear the moment they stepped into room with Oshad that this mission was deeply personal for Orym. This group typically has no problem racing each other to ask questions, probing for information from whoever is in the room. Yet, during that entire conversation, even though the whole group was in the room too, no one else said a word. All of them kept a respectful distance and silence, sensing that Orym was on a thin emotional tether. They only really spoke up when it seemed like Orym addressed them directly or when it seemed that meeting with Oshad was wrapping up. Even so, the rest of the party spoke softly and only really saying what was strictly necessary. Ashton, quietly telling Orym that it takes a few days to get to the Heartmoor, FCG expressing his condolences to Ela Lumas as they were about to the leave, Imogen gently asking a steward how old the twins were, Laudna, just as gently, asking Orym if he had any other information as to what it seemed like the assassins were after and then dropping it when Orym told her honestly what the working theory was and that he really didn’t know more than that. Everyone just realizing how hard this was for Orym and being so kind.

I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this. Just that I think this was such as beautiful scene that also broke my heart. Orym, this lil murder man, is already murdering my feelings.   

153 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

I just saw someone complaining in the RWDE tag about how it’s just the same two people complaining about the same things over and over again and that they have nothing new to say and I just about blew a fuse with them. You want to know why their are so few posts now in the RWDE tag? It’s because many of the other people who used to post got chased off thanks to endless harassment, death threats and worse. They decided, rightfully so I might add, that their mental health was more important than a blog on Tumblr dot com. And let me be frank, I am not saying those people where wrong to chose to stop posting i the tag. I fully support their decision even if I am sad to see them go. They have every right to leave if it’s become too much for them because assholes can’t figure out how to curate their own damn online experience. And as for the whole “same shit over and over and only answering asks” I literally do not get your problem with answering asks. People send asks to blogs because they want their two cents on what’s being asked. And sure sometimes the asks are about similar things I’ve already answered but often they have a different take or I’ve changed my opinion or have more to say. I’m not copying and pasting my responses I type them up each time just like anyone else. We answer asks because we want to. I love getting asks and I don’t care if it’s similar to something I’ve answered before. As I said sometimes I have a new perspective or want to add something but feel weird reblogging an older post or hell I just forget about an older post or sometimes it’s a new person to the RWDE community or my blog and they don’t want to go through every post to find if Ive already talked about something. Regardless why the fuck do you care so much about what other blogs are doing? If it’s annoyingly you just block us and move on. Also please do not any of my lovely anons take this as me even noticing or caring if I repeat stuff in asks or whatever. I love getting asks and I love responding to them every time so please keep doing what you do you lovely people. This person just annoyed me and I needed to vent it out because telling people how much they can talk about something is dumb.

[writing-in-april]

Unwinding in the Vines

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Reader can’t get enough of cuddling Spencer.

A/N: Hey Heyyyy! Here’s my twenty-third fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April! Sorry this one is again out a little later than usual- I’ve started a new job and it was my mom’s birthday today! This ones based on this request from @lexieshuntingsstuff- it’s a user smol sweet moment between Reader and Spencer. Feel free to send me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite lol) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Vague mentions of death (of minor characters & a tree lol) & Reader is overprotective of Spencer after he had a run in with an unsub- other than that it’s just a smol fluffy moment.

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.2k

His arms were wrapped around my torso tight. They wound around to hug every dip and curve of my body, like the vines of ivy trailing up the tree he was resting his back on. Unlike the tree, who was being choked slowly to death by the vine, I thrived under his hold.

His hold on me made me feel safer than I ever had been, grounding me. Him being clingy also assured me that he was real, I could feel his skin on mine, even when his touch was dampened by our clothing. Though I craved him being closer, even more clingy than he already was being, I’d have to settle with how we were. I tried to sink into his touch even more despite it not being possible, winding my own arms up around his to create vines of my own.

I often felt unsafe, specifically at my job which was also Spencer’s. He was by my side through every investigation, through thick and thin, willing to do whatever it takes. It didn’t matter whether we were personally involved or it was the most routine case we had all year, he was always by my side. Though I often craved for him to be closer to me, to smother me with his whole body twisted around me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

I then hooked my legs around his, intertwining myself even further into him, no longer knowing where I stopped and he began. It had been too close of a call during the last case for me not to want him so close. He was the one holding me, but really I was protecting him from the man who dared pull a gun on him even though he was dead.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer spoke up pulling me out of my daydream for a moment.

I fiddled with my fingers that I had intertwined with his, assuring me that he was here, safe and here to keep me safe. He nudged my side as I started to drift off back into my thoughts to prompt me to give him an answer, “How much closer I want you,” Was the first answer that came to my mind, until the true answer came to me. I hesitated, reluctant to spill my guts even though I knew he wouldn’t be mad, “ and- how glad I am that you’re safe…”

His breath hitched, probably him thinking back to his brush with death, all because of some cocky unsub so chaotic he had been hard to predict. I wanted to apologize for bringing it up, but Spencer had already moved on from the subject, choosing to focus on the positive, “I don’t think I can’t physically be closer- unless you want our atoms fuse.”

I giggled a little along with Spencer, making our chests vibrate with one another. Twisting myse a little around for just a moment I booped the tip of his nose delicately before teasing him with my tongue stuck out just a bit, “Think you could figure that out doc?”

“Maybe- I could probably do it with an assistant.” He teased right back, with a boop on my nose too as revenge.

“Only if it’s me.”

“I’d never be able to do anything without you.” My heart swelled at the affection, just as it always did around Spencer. He always leveled attacks of affection on me, which some would find obnoxiously overbearing. I thought those people were crazy. I loved him so much, letting him go or him letting me go sounded sad. When we were unable to touch each other at work I always felt a slight pain in my chest at the thought of it. Guess that probably made me clingy as well, but Spencer loved it just as much as I did.

My mind had shifted back to thinking about the BAU, our job that caused constant turmoil within me. Ever since he had nearly been fatally wounded I couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything else for us, something safer. Looking up at the clouds floating along without a care in the sky, I envied their ability to be carefree, to be able to see where the wind takes them.

“Did you ever think this was where you’d be?” He looked up at the clouds with me, perhaps also wishing life would be just as easy and carefree.

“No.” It was true, and also not surprising. Whether his answer was about his job or about me, I knew that even not that long ago he never would have imagined being here underneath the tree with me. Though, I was still worried that he no longer wanted to be a part of the BAU, especially after the recent fiasco. I did not want him to stay only for me.

“Do you want to be here?” My meaning had a double entendres, at surface level meaning his time with the BAU which even with my anxiety over recent events, I knew realistically we were meant to be there. Suddenly I was now anxious for his answer to the other meaning, whether or not he wanted to be here tangled up with me. We had said the words I love you out loud, and even then self doubt liked to poison me.

“Yes.” His arms choked around me tighter, but I never felt more free to be me. I never felt more alive than when I was close to Spencer, thriving with him. My own arms were holding Spencer down to me, but he had told me once that I was the only reason he ever grew to be better which I happily did along with him.

My stomach rumbled, interrupting our deep conversation. It was loud enough that Spencer could hear it even with the breeze that was muffling almost everything. He moved his hand down to rub my stomach, soothing it for the time being. “Do you want to eat the rest of the food?”

Wistfully I looked over to the picnic basket that we had packed for our time to unwind. We had eaten only a small portion of it before he had pulled me back to rest on his chest. My stomach may be slightly rumbling, but I wouldn’t want to give up my hold on Spencer or have him give up his hold on me. “No, you’d have to let me go if I did.”

I felt warm, almost hot, his arms insulating all the heat inside me along with what I produced on my own. My cheeks were definitely burning, but I didn’t care, I felt safe here away from the horrors I faced everyday with him. I never wanted him to stop clinging on to me like a koala bear or like the vines around us. He brushed a finger along my cheek, which was probably hot to the touch as he then asked, “Are you sure I’m not holding you too tight?”

Nuzzling my face on the side of one of his arms, I then squeezed my palms around him three times, a silent confession of my love. Turning my head up I saw him looking down at me in adoration, not at the other beauties of nature around me. I squeezed him tight once again, trying to entangle us permanently like a vine to a tree before I told him, “No, it’s perfect.”

Ask Me Anything

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[f3296]

Hi I just feel like I need to ramble and maybe some one else out there feels the same way. So in the AOT I’m not all that big on ships just because shipping really isn’t my thing but I do enjoy it to an extent. I consider myself to be a multi shipper because again the relationships in AOT are so complex and I love all the characters and their dynamics. My biggest “ship” would be Eurihan just because that trio to me is all sorts of fun and I love their dynamic.

But with that being said, I find myself to be drifting farther and farther away from the Eruri aspect just because as I continue to reread the manga and pay attention to the themes of the story canonically speaking I don’t actually see any “romance” between them. The Fannon concepts of Eruri are fun and beautifully tragic with the fan arts and stories especially in modern AU. They are a very attractive couple and I fully understand the hype but canonically speaking I just don’t see it anymore. I love their dynamic as a whole and brings such a complex look to both Levi and Erwins character that their friendship is something to admire.

And with that being said I feel their complexity of characters and their story gets lost within the fandom. I think the term that is used is “shipping goggles” when canon stuff of the original story gets lost or replaced for the sake of the ship. Which in this case I feel happens a lot in Eruri specifically.

Now I really don’t want people to feel I am bashing Eruri. I’m obviously a fan with my own fan art and my interactions with mutuals so please no one take offense. This is just a quirk I have in every fandom when canon material gets lost for the sake of a ship.

Specifically with Levi.

Now I understand my biases consider Levi is my favorite character and I truly Kin him. But when I watch edits or read DJs or even just scrolling through things like tumblr or Twitter I find myself avoiding the Eruri tags because I get so frustrated when all I see if Levi’s entire character being based around Erwin. The concept that Levi is only alive to fulfill Erwins promise or he only fights for Erwin and completely derailing his character to be centered around Erwin is frustrating.

Levi fights for all the scouts since the very beginning. When else first meet him and he promises the dying scout he would eradicate the Titans, this is a shared dream the scouts had and has said he will do what he can for All of them. Not just Erwin.

Now this isn’t to disregard Erwins importance to Levi. Erwin gave him a purpose to live, he was his friend and trusted comrade and felt he was the best for humanity. Erwin is important to Levi no one is saying other wise. He just isn’t the center of Levi’s world.

Levi trusted Erwin because he saw something bigger than himself and Levi wanted to help Erwin get there because Levi himself if a very loving and selfless character. This I find to be so beautiful of Levi’s (and mikasas) character.

When Levi learns the truth behind Erwins actions and his selfish reasons to fight for humanity was for the sake of seeing in the basement really sent Levi into turmoil. (I feel this is WITs fault for not expressing this properly in the anime) this is why he continued to pester and push Erwin to know his motives past the basement, because Levi wanted to believe he was this selfless leader he had been finessed into believing he was (because we can’t forget canonically speaking Erwin is a con man and enjoys gambling which makes him and great leader)

Levi tells Erwin to die so he would continue to go down with the facade he was a selfless leader and to continue to live up to the expectation. Levi accepted this fault of Erwin just as he had accepted the faults of all his comrades and their selfish actions.

Levi was canonically devoted to Erwin, but not in the romantic way.

Erwin also never expressed a “interest” in Levi in that matter outside of their friendship and Levi’s abilities. It also should keep in mind that Erwin was ultimately in love with Marie, and chose not to have a family and a wife (which he actually wanted) to avoid having a widow. We can head cannon all day long about how “he realized in his last moments” or “behind the scenes” or interpreting smart press stories a certain way to fit the narrative but it’s just important to remember the difference between cannon material and your own HCs.

Now I know a lot of people will read this and think “wow a levihan shipper wrote this” and you would be right I also ship levihan as well. And they are also not cannon in a relationship as well but the romantic implications for them specifically cannot be ignored because you don’t like them. Levi and Hange are canonically best friends. They are known as the “abnormals” of the scouts. They know each other the best. Their relationship is so complex it cannot be defined as a friendship. (Even Moblit admits he doesn’t have a bond with Hange like Levi does) and it’s okay if you just see them as friends, and I honestly don’t blame a lot of people who do considering WIT really bit the bullet with missing key Levi and Hange moments to better fit their dynamic (I’ve seen people say they aren’t even good friends and that breaks my heart they are besties )

And honestly why wouldn’t you want to ship levihan? This ship in my opinion is the least problematic with the least controversy to it. It’s comforting and sweet and gives a sense of love and family. It’s literally a best friends-> lovers trope. Their friendship is what makes this ship in my opinion so pure and honestly why I fall in love with it more everyday.

And I know some will say “what about Moblit?” And honestly, it bothers me how much he is used to argue levihan because I ultimately feel his character also gets dumbed down as a default for Hange just for shipping and it bothers me too.

*and honestly guys Hange and Moblit isn’t even that great in a ship since considering Moblit became an anxious alcoholic trying to take care of Hange and Hange would get so caught up with their work they wouldn’t even notice. NOTE: they obviously cared for each other as comrades and Moblit felt Hange was needed for humanities survival and cared for them obviously but just my opinion I don’t see that ship working in my opinion.

But in reality guys, I never saw any of these characters “getting together” because they’re soldiers. Their hearts were dedicated to the cause of saving humanity first so that’s the beauty of AOT and the ambiguity of the characters relationships with one another because ultimately they all have attributes to love and benefit each other. Even with the forest scene and the plane for Levi and Hange, I never expected A “happy ending” for them in the sense of platonic or romantic because that doesn’t fit their canon narratives. Levi was destined to be the last soldier standing and brings the complexity of being the perfect soldier with a human heart.

*though the implication of romantic feelings never being acted on were there because they indeed paralleled with eren and mikasa

Levi’s literally means “attached” he attaches himself to the people he cares about and dedicated his strength and ability to help others gain their hopes and dreams.

Erwin tragically lost his humanity to become the devil for the sake of humanity which ultimately left him fruitless to his venture.

Hange taking on the burden of making the tough decisions and shouldering the weight of the deaths of the soldiers and Erwins legacy left them feeling loss and useless until their sacrifice.

All these characters have such complexity to them, they are all deeper than their fannon ship and should be appreciated and the narrative shouldn’t be shifted for the sake of a ship.

Levi didn’t fight to the end for just Erwin he did it for all of them.

So again, sorry for my rambles and I hope there will be those who read this and understand where I am coming from with this and understand though I will continue to ship all three, it still makes me sad I feel I can’t interact with some without them destroying entire characters for the sake of the ship.

So again love ships not ship wars. That’s the fun part when ships aren’t cannon you can just mix and match whenever you feel like it ❤️❤️

[artofflorescence]

artofflorescence’s compilation of everything

this is separated 3 categories: tumblr-exclusive ideas/snippets, for fun stuff, and all my ao3 works

ALL MY IDEAS/SNIPPETS that are NOT on AO3:

*obligatory angst warning

izuku memory quirk idea (check out the reblog where miraculous-mused wrote a fantastic snippet!)

don’t break me when you fall (a 1.4K one shot/snippet where izuku time travels but it’s sad and terrible) - this one is heavy! -- now on ao3 under the same title (within the give me a reason to stay series)

a martyr a day (snippet where izuku also time travels and it’s still sad and terrible BUT different and slightly less terrible) - summary given on the post

izuku life-sensing quirk idea

doctor/healer au with a twist (part 2)

the fantasy au (izuku as a fae/spirit/supernatural being??)

effigies of infinity (blink au) 

FOR FUN

favorite bookmarks on my ao3 fics

AO3 WORKS:

give me a reason to stay (find me another way home):  A series of completed stand-alone one shots or two shots focused around Midoriya Izuku suffering, a lot. With a heavy dose of angst and major character death. Exploring the many facets of death and how sometimes, it can be very, very gentle. Extremely Midoriya Izuku-centric. Please read tags and beginning notes for warnings. More detailed descriptions are under each work. ongoing (current count: 11 works. 73,275 words)

“Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.” — Richard Siken

i did not think it would hurt like this (but here i am):  In a universe where Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto each have their own demons, but healing does not come so easy. Or at all. Because the world was not kind to them, and they could do nothing but hurt in silence. (Closure is not so easily found when the people who hurt you are untouchable). At least they have each other. (What else is there?) completed (total: 4 works, 10,413 words)

A series of one-shots that is set in the same universe, but does not have to necessarily be read in order, or read together. They occur in a vaguely chronological order, but are independent from each other. I would categorize them as companion pieces to each other versus sequels

was it reverence (or were you just tired?): (completed one-shot, my first ao3 work, what a throwback)

“Are you tired, Tenko?” Izuku asks as he stumbles to the nearest piece of rubble, collapsing as his legs give out to lean back against it. 

Tomura immediately gets angry, “What? Don’t call me tha—“

“We’re both dying, Tenko. It doesn’t matter what I call you, or how much I hate you, or how much you hate me.”

In which there is a slumber those cannot wake from. And two children, so very tired.

tell me you love me before i let go: (completed one-shot)

Midoriya Izuku’s father is Midoriya Hisashi, and Izuku remembers love. Love in spite of his quirklessness, in spite of his uselessness. When he’s six, his father disappears.

Seven years later, it is his father that saves him. And when he gives Izuku the chance to disappear with him, well, the choice is easy.

The story in which All for One loved his son, even when the world didn’t. And fate changes. (The devastating universe where Izuku goes willingly when All for One vaults him, and it’s a soft, grieving kind of tragedy.)

all is light inside: (completed one-shot)

In a world where something quite like peace is found, Class 1-A has carved itself into the history books, and Izuku, wrinkled and wise, still has one last message to give to a world moving on without him.

(Old age was the last thing Izuku thought he would die to, but he’s always specialized in the unpredictable).

dust to ash, ash to embers (bnha/khr, 2/???, ongoing)

In a world where quirks continue to grow in power, and the quirkless continue to grow obsolete, Dying Will Flames are nearly extinct. A relic from an old underground, surviving only in rumors and the occasional story. Buried records and conspiracy forums hold the last living reminders of a time gone by. The public never even knew something had been lost.

The chances that Midoriya Izuku should become an Active Sky are highly improbable. The chances that Shigaraki Tomura is also an Active Sky of the same generation is...ridiculous.

The idea that they, as two Skies, harmonize? Impossible. (Turns out, they happen to be pretty good at doing the impossible.)

*you do NOT need KHR knowledge coming into this fic. Midoriya-Izuku centric. I borrowed the concept of flames and flame lore (some of which is not even canon), but otherwise, the fic is COMPLETELY UNAFFILIATED with KHR. Characters from KHR will NOT make an appearance.

a little love, gently breaking (completed one-shot, also found in the give me a reason to stay series):

The Midoriya family is of the forest. They come from the trees, the forest, lovely, dark, and deep.

All that comes from the forest eventually must return. (There is a tale, that those who die in the forest do not truly die. There is a tale that winter’s children used to be people too.)

His whole life, Izuku has been looking for shelter. And now that he’s found it, it’s so devastatingly easy to share.

good kids die quietly (BLEACH completed one-shot):

Good kids never stay good kids. They grow into broken teenagers, then broken adults-- broken people.

And broken people? They grow jaded or they die. (Ichigo is a soldier on his last legs).

[jackson-t-escobar]

Call it magic

 ~ Chapter I ~

Pairing: Ivar x Heahmund (Modern!AU)

Word count: 1.1 k

Summary: How to deal with a breakup? Ivar still doesn’t know, even after a few months. And when he meets his ex again one day, the chaos is perfect - between immature brothers, sex with the ex and the decision whether to forgive or to forget.

Tags: hurt/comfort, fun, smut, fluff, family bonds, brotherly love, age difference, jealousy.

If you want to be part of the tag list (or be removed, doesn’t matter xD), just send me a DM. I will not post this on AO3, this will be a tumblr story only. I hope you enjoy this!

@youbloodymadgenius​ @jadelynlace​

Ivar stared out the window, watching people scurrying past with umbrellas or something else over their heads to escape the thick drops. They were almost all running, and the street was slowly filling with the cold water - the lights of the cars reflected in the rain, almost bathing the surroundings in a magical, warm atmosphere. Ivar was glad to be inside - his fingers clawed more fiercely into his hoodie, and he rested his chin lightly on his folded forearms while his blue eyes followed the drops on the window.

It had been a few months since Heahmund and he had parted ways. And although Ivar had enjoyed the time off for a very long time, really letting off steam - he was slowly getting to a point where it didn't seem to be going any further. It was now autumn, and the days were increasingly overshadowed by rain and cold; the time when you sat in front of the fireplace in the evening with your partner, in front of the TV, watching Netflix. Autumn days were cuddling, baking cakes and cookies, watching the bad weather. Preferably with a warm arm around the middle of your body, pulling you closer as soon as there was even a slight shiver at the thought of being outside.

The breakup had only really hit Ivar consciously a few weeks after the actual breakup. They had been together for almost a year, but not publicly - since Ivar had still been 17 at the time, and not even close to being of age. It had been best to lie in bed with Heahmund in the evening, while Hvitserk - the only one who had known - had covered for him. Had told their parents lies about why Ivar was gone so often on weekends. And why his grades had gone down just before he graduated from high school, because he had only had the older man on his mind all the time. Heahmund had been 30 when it had ended.

"Hey, do you plan to watch TV like a normal person again sometime, or is someone out there running around naked?" his brother Hvitserk's voice interrupted the silence; Ivar didn't flinch, but cursed inwardly because he had bitten his lower lip slightly when he was startled. He did not say anything at first, but tried to remove his slightly sad expression from his face. After all, Hvitserk didn't necessarily have to know that he'd hit rock bottom once again.

"I like to look outside. Of course, you uneducated cretin don't understand that because your IQ also only lasts from morning to noon," Ivar said quietly; he released the clasp from his hoodie and with a casual movement turned to Hvitserk, who also sat down on the wooden floor with his younger brother.

For a moment they looked at each other, then Hvitserk snorted softly. "Is it still because of him? You need to forget about him for once, honestly."

"How am I supposed to forget him, huh? Unless you mean your tip that you use 90% of the time," Ivar snarked, and Hvitserk raised his eyebrows with a grin.

"Fucking is the best cure for everything, Ivar. Headaches? Fucking. You're late? Never mind, one more round will do. You actually have to work? Lay the colleague." he said, amused, and Ivar rolled his eyes with a slight click of his tongue.

"I'm surprised you get so many women anyway. They must smell your stupidity - stupid fucks well, as we all know. It almost can't be anything else."

"Ah, is that so? And you?"

"Me?" Ivar said quietly; his gaze went back out the window for a moment, then he sighed softly. "I've been trying out, haven't I? You know that, too. But somehow... somehow, they're all... shallow. And stupid, like you."

 "That's no reason to mope, after all, when you can blow something else," Hvitserk said, earning a juicy kick from Ivar against his upper arm in return, which he merely commented with a slight "Ouch!" and a laugh, while Ivar himself couldn't help grinning. Sometimes his brother was really annoying, but his big mouth usually managed to get Ivar back on track. Or at least distract him for a few moments.

"What do you say... We go out for dinner and figure out where we can get drunk to death this weekend. Okay?" Hvitserk suggested, and Ivar took a deep breath in and out.

"Mom will kill me if I still don't know what I want to study after this weekend."

"Dude, I've got a cure for that: fucking a professor."

"Hvit, man. Be serious for once!"

"We'll do it when we drink. That's the best idea, that way we can do both in one go. Ha! Call me genius, my little brother."

Ivar rolled his eyes but slammed into Hvitserk's hand. His incisors dipped slightly into his lower lip again, and Hvitserk snorted softly.

"What was so great about him, please? Besides you being into dilfs, which is really disgusting. Forget him, he broke up with you on fucking Valentine's Day. What guy does something like that?"

For a moment, that sentence hit Ivar deep in the heart. He had repressed that day well all these months, but he couldn't forget it. Deeply it had been burned into his mind; he had planned so much for that day, had wanted to surprise Heahmund. But all he had gotten was an ice-cold breakup on the grounds that he hadn't been sure how he felt. And it had been Ivar's hate day ever since - never again would he feel good about Valentine's Day, and was already planning to poison happy couples in the park. He hadn't been able to explain to his mother why he had cried constantly through two weeks, and why he had hardly eaten anything in the evenings. Even his other, almost terroristic brothers had sensed something, and had left him alone that week.

"All right. You're right. The last time I saw him was a while ago, anyway," Ivar said, letting Hvitserk help him to his feet; and it wasn't until he was standing that he grinned slightly as Hvitserk's warm hand passed lightly over his shoulder.

"Exactly. He's probably grown fat, and much older. You won't recognize him if you ever meet again - unless Gandalf the Grey is suddenly standing in front of you on the dance floor, asking you for a drink."

For a moment the brothers stared at each other, then they both snorted and laughed. It was painful, yes - especially because it was the first time he had been truly in love. But it had to go on, and somehow Hvitserk was right - even if most of his suggestions and advice ended up with having sex with someone somewhere. Ivar took one last look outside before following Hvitserk into the kitchen; the streets outside were almost deserted, and the lightning of thunderstorms could be seen behind the city's skyscrapers. Oh, how Ivar loved autumn.

[echoweaver]

Your thoughts on the Sims 1-4

Guess I’m in the mood to do these. Grabbing a tag from @mosneakers​.

Sims 1: The big thing I remember about this game is that it could take your sim hours to cross from one end of the house to the other. Thus, if the sim got up at the normal one-hour-before-work, they often wouldn’t have time to both pee and eat. I got obsessed with designing and efficient house, with the kitchen right outside the bedroom door, so that my sims could get to work with the best mood. 

Then I let the garden go bad, and it would destroy my sims’ mood on the way to the carpool, and it took me forever to figure out what was going on :-D

Sim 2: I remember being thrilled by how much easier it was for sims to get around their house. The introduction of lifespans intrigued me. However, I hadn’t really figured out what I wanted to DO with this sandbox game yet. Playing Sims gets boring if you don’t have some kind of a goal. I’d never heard of a generational challenge, much less rotational gameplay, and I hadn’t plugged into the fan community yet.

I did dabble in mods -- mostly the mod to drastically increase the chance of a sim being abducted when using the telescope so I could make alien babies. I built a household from two CAS-built sisters who were of different races. One of them married a man, and the other a woman, and then I got frustrated that the lesbian couple couldn’t make babies. They adopted, but I was annoyed by how genetically boring their adopted son was. Then I got obsessed with trying to get one of the lesbians to cheat on her spouse to make a baby without being discovered. Where is artificial insemination when you need it?

Later, I created a new sim who married into the Broke family. I got bored and tried to starve Dustin to death to make a ghost. when I removed the door to his bedroom and his needs got very low, he got down on his knees to beg the Watcher for his life. I felt so guilty that I actually turned off the game and never went back!

Sims 3:  This is where it happened for me. Open world and a town that aged with my active household just better matches the way I imagine playing. I even figured out generational play, at least somewhat, before really plugging into the fan community.

I didn’t realize until reading @mosneakers and @natolesims‘s memes that there was so much hate floating around for Sims 3 art style! I admit that I do dislike the child faces. I thought Sims 2 faces were too long and thin. Sims 3 faces seem to have overcompensated by being just a bit too round. Otherwise, I’m quite sure I don’t know what you guys are talking about. LOL.

I don’t think I’d still be playing if it weren’t for NRaas, though. Sims 3′s open world was pretty ambitious, and their data management was totally not up to the task. I spent years offering tech support on people’s blogs when they started to suffer data corruption in generation 2 or 3. You just can’t play without at least minimal mods to clean up save files. It’s unintuitive that a modded game is more stable than vanilla, but it’s just true. Sad, but true.

Sims 4: I have played this very little, not because I hate it but because I am stubbornly determined to finish my 10-generation legacy. A lot of folks just rebuilt their household in Sims 4 and continued to play. At the time Sims 4 came out, I was playing supernatural-heavy games with custom skintones, so I’d lose almost everything if I ported them over. It also turns out that it’s hard to face going from a heavily-modded, 11-expansion experience to a game with base or just one expansion. I have a lot more sympathy for Sims 2 players who skipped Sims 3 entirely.

I have a hard time facing the color presets and closed world, but the game in its current state really seems to have done great things with gameplay. If/when I get the Samples done, I’ll take a look at making the switch. Of course, by then Sims 5 will likely be out, so maybe I’ll skip....

What is your favorite Expansion pack

Generations and/or Seasons. But it’s really hard to choose.

Small pets or Horses?

I really,  really love Sims 3 horses. Since I’m modding pets, it can probably be guessed that I like the animals in general :).

What is your favorite active career?

Yes.

I have had a ton of fun with almost all active careers. If forced to choose, I might go for firefighter.

What is your favorite Lifetime Wish?

Buh. I really dug the Photography one I guess. I just like doing different ones.

Whims or Wants?

I’m sorry. I have no idea what this question even means (blush).

What is your favorite Occult?

I feel like all the occults in TS3 are kind of underdeveloped. That said, witches are pretty cool.

Cowplants, Bonehilda, or the Social Bunny?

Bonehilda

How do you pick your sims names?

I am absolutely OBSESSED with names. I’m sorry I only got to name one flesh-and-blood child, so I let it all out in naming my simmies. I get into the head of the parent(s) and come up with lists from whatever they would like. My saves are very gameplay-directed, and tend to randomize most traits, so I intentionally don’t build a sim to a name or try to make a sim’s name suit their personality at all. After all, when we name our children, we get no say over who they eventually become :).

Do you create a spouse for a sim, or do you go after a townie?

Townie! My gaming style is heavily gameplay-oriented. I want my sims to choose their partner using wishes and attraction and whatever else the game provides. However, I also am incredibly interested in genetic experimentation, so I do allow myself to change the physical appearance of some sims before making babies with them if they are too bland. I populated my Samples save from scratch, largely using downloaded simalikes of real people. I have NRaas set to use existing sims in the town or in my sim bin, to generate new ones. So basically I do my best to have the most interesting genetics pool I can so I don’t need to edit faces.

Do you prefer to follow storytelling Simblrs, or do your prefer gameplay Simblrs?

I’m not totally sure what this is asking either :-D. Are “storytelling” simblrs the ones that largely use the game as an artistic medium for screenshots using poses and whatnot? My play style is to play the game and build stories from it, so I’m not entirely sure what category I fall into myself.

I suppose it doesn’t matter because I follow both. I’m not terribly drawn to dressup challenges and lookbooks.

What year did you join Tumblr/Simblr?

I have absolutely no friggin idea. I tried to look back in my email archive to track notifications, and that failed. I came back after three years, so it has to be at least for years before I returned....?

[janujaja]

Thankyou @bad-buddy-owns-my-ass ! Mine is going to sound extremely cliche BUT WHO CARES.

1. Your all time favorite bl and why

It's Bad Buddy. I am sorry to sound generic but an introvert like me started POSTING on tumblr because of this show. It's Bad Buddy. I have no qualms. Come @ me, I DONT CARE.

As for the reason, I think BB kind of has paved the way for a better future for the BL industry. Its characteristic feature is that it employs literally all BL tropes but in a way that doesn't make us cringe at the misogynistic and heteronormative undertones that every other BL shamelessly over - employs.

(Honestly how I am supposed to watch another bl after this, I have no clue).

2. That one bl that scarred you for life

I won't say it SCARRED me but the last few eps of Bite Me were truly upsetting. The one thing I hate is half assed endings that do NOT keep up with how the first half of the series went. It sucked and I was so sad that I couldn't even watch it after ep 7 or something. And I was even an actual fan of the slow romance. (I Know it's an UNPOPULAR OPINION OKAY)

Other than that, I just simply do not watch emotionally scarring stuff. Sorry, I am fragile and CANNOT do bad and sad endings.

Also, perhaps the fact that BB almost was about to give us a sad/ambiguous ending did emotionally scar me 😌

3. Is there any bl that made you feel very single

I mean other than BB as a whole bl that made me feel super uper duper single, cuz OHM and NANON, I also felt weirdly single when I saw Mark and Kit interactions in Gen Y S1. Idk, it's something about the whole sunshine and tsundere chemistry that STRIKES me. OH other than that, there were so many instances in 1000 stars (ESPECIALLY EPISODE 5 WHERE THEY LITERALLY BLUSHED AND FLIRTED WITH EACH OTHER asking for kite matches and whatnot ugh it was too much for my heart to handle).

4. If you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

Make Pure and Folk the main couple of My Gear and Your Gown (2020). They were splendid, and although I like Marc, babe, I think you need to work a bit more on your acting skills.

5. That one bl you detest (don’t hold back)

I dont really detest any. There are millions which made me cringe so hard that I stopped watching, though. There is no space for detest in my heart 😌🤣.

(And the first on the cringe list is Tonhon Chonlathee 😌😌)

6. Your top 5

1. BAD BUDDY (need I say)

2. ITSAY (NEED I SAY)

3. Keita Hatsukoi (need I say pt.3)

4. GEN Y S1 ONLY (SHUT UP 😳)

5. Manner of Death (hot murder boys)

7. That trashy bl that you lowkey like

2Moons2. I will not expand. Stop. I AM SHALLOW AS FRICK I KNOW.

8. Your favorite Korean bl (it’s important we know)

To my Star without a doubt. I love it. I love them. Thankyou.

9. But also your top 3 for kbls

1. To My Star

2. A first love story ep 1 and 2 by the Korean production house Strongberry. (it is SHORT AND THATS THE ONLY FACT I HATE ABOUT THE SERIES).

3. Light On me (the kiss scene never happened).

Special mention to the Korean gay movie 'Just Friends?' (These titles amirite 😏) cuz I love the two characters in it so much.

10. Season 2? Which one?

I normally do not like season 2 cuz I feel like a majority of them disappoint me, but the only one which I am even willing to consider is Manner of Death S2 with Tat and Sorawit. Thankyou. I love them. Thankyou.

11. A bunch of dramas will air soon. Which ones are you most excited for?

I am actually not EXCITED excited for any of them but I am willing to push my prejudices aside and watch most of them if they give me top quality chemistry and acting skills like OhmNanon did.

12. Tag them! @another-bad-buddy-stan   @anuwrites @the-happy-fujoshi (AND ANY ONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO!!!)